It has been absolute ages since I have made any kind of post of my blog.

So

I am still in school. It is going alright. I am finding myself not really that into it this semester. Most of my classes are just once a week, so there is lots of time for my mind to wander inbetween them.

I am now working for Coles Books in Mayfair Mall. Til Feb 17. . . . The mall has decided that it does not want to renew the lease for the bookstore so we are all out of a job come mid February. Everyone is pretty upset, more so that it seems our company isn’t really trying very hard to help us. Don’t worry, I have a few choice emails and letters planned for Mayfair, incredulous with the fact that the Mall will now be without a bookstore, and probably overpopulated with one more jewlery store, teen girl accessory store or womens clothing store.

For the summer I am hoping to go back to work for Royal Blue Line bus tours. Tour the city on the open top double decker? Why not. Get paid to say things that are infused with truth to entertain the tourists.

Most happily, I have moved in with Scott. I am very happy to be with him, and very happy to be out of Belmont House. Can you believe that I had been there for FOUR YEARS?? Not counting that little break I took one summer, but I know that I am not alone in erasing all memeory of those events and/or people. You will have to come over and see the apartment, and give Scott a conciliatory hug as I have also brought over the two cats with me.

Sergeant Yum Yums and Jamaal are doing quite well. It is a larger 2 bedroom place so we are all not too cramped. The last 2 weeks that I was in Belmont House I kept the cats inside at all times to get them used to the idea of becoming indoor cats, and that has helped tremendously with everyone not going crazy in the apartment.

That’s really all the new stuff that I can think of. Please leave me a comment so I know if anyone is actually stillreading my blog. Hopefully I will get back into it now that things are settling down.

oh yah, the last week that the bookstore is open 11-17th, there is going to be some kind of sale on. I don’t know for sure what it all is, but come and say hi!

I notice that sometimes I get really snappy. It’s not like I mean to, but I think that I just let things bottle up. One of my big problems is that I always seem to be the person that notices things. Just anythings. Then I see people acting in ways I know are not correct, knowing what I have already seen, and I get mad and irritated at them for acting that way, thinking that they should have noticed the same things as me. And should therefore have no reason to act as they are. But it is not like I have told them what I have noticed. I always think that it would be weird. Because it is always me who seems to notice.
Am i the only one who seems consciously aware of everyone around me?
Am I the only one who seems to want to think of others?
Of what they think?
Of what they might want?
Of what I should do to make them happy?

I spend so much time trying to make other people happy. It is just not in me to have fun, and not think of how it might affect other people?

I would love to party it up, but what will the neigbors think?
Am I being too loud?
Is the music too loud?
I hate when it is late on Monday night and I can hear the other tenants being rowdy, and playing music. I worry so much that I am doing the same and that they are hating it as much as I hate it, when they do it.
Its seems like I am the only one aware that it might be making a bad impresion on the other floors. I am the only one aware of other people and how they might be irritated by my actions, OR the actions of those with me who don’t know that other people exist and might have a thing to say about what is going on.

I hate Belmont House so much.
I feel stuck here. I wanna move so badly but I have to find somewhere for the cats. If I move I wanne be with Scott, but he won’t be ready for another few months.

Am I not able to let go?
Am I really the only one who doesn’t have as much fun?
Do I think too hard about being polite for others benifit? Is there any left for me.

Maybe I have just had too much of this homemade hooch.

Hey Tony.

With it with great sadness that I feel that I have to write this email at all.

For an organization trying to be the Best Place to Work, Shop and Invest, I cannot help but feel I have never been more insulted by the treatment of the Loss Prevention Department. I believe that I have given nothing but 100% for all 4 years that I called Sunglass Hut home. To not have anything of my past work record to come into play in dealing with what I can only call a rather large bone headed error is nothing if not disappointing.

A sour taste is left in my mouth to think that I have been terminated with the thought that everyone thinks I am a thief.

I am no thief.

I believe from day one Loss Prevention’s mind was set, and would not even conceive that my circumstances were possible for the events to fold out as they did. Considering all money was accounted for, the deposit bags had NOT been tampered with, and my complete openness and willingness throughout the entire proceedings, I could not feel more upset to be labeled a thief. I am sick to my stomach with regards to ever thinking of showing my face at either LensCrafters or Sunglass Hut.

I am extremely sorry I had to leave under these circumstances, and cannot re-iterate enough the insult I feel over having been tossed after 4 good years.

You were a great district manager and always tried your best to be informative and inspirational. You helped make me a good manager for the time that I was there (even if I was soft on multiples and accessories). I will miss talking to you, the other managers and all my former employees.

Nathan Schmidtke

There is the slight percentage that I will be fired tomorow. . .

I don’t think that it is a big percentage, but I am still a tad worried. See. . .

2 weeks ago, I left work with 2 of the cash deposits. NOw, not having had worked that shift with MY set of keys, just the store spare set (having forgot my own) I did not have a key for the bank deposit box. So I took the deposits home, and intended to deposit them on my next shift, 2 days later.
Well, I forgot and they sat in my room for the next week or so. Now there is this whole kerfufell over the entire thing, and I go for a “chat” with the loss prevention officer for BC tomorrow at Lens Crafters. . .
I would be totally fine with a write up, but anything more than that I think is not warrantted.
Really, just can’t get beyond seeing things from my view. I mean come on, I KNOW that I wasn’t planning on stealing them. I would consider it quite rude if they thought that I was going to do anything with the money. What am I, a moron? I know what happens to people who steal them. I just see them blowing it all out of preportion. I made the deposits, albeit late. NOt like the money wasn’t gone.
Anyways.
We’ll see what happens.
I am not terribly worried, as I am going to school full time, and the job is not my main focus.

Me and Scott were talking a while ago about what kind of dogs either of us would get if allowed to. Now of course what he said I can’t remember now, even with my wonderful relationship listening skills, but it was some kind of whippet style racing dog. Santa’s Little Helper. The kind that chase the bunny around the track.
I chortled to how tall and skinny those dogs were and how it would definitely be case of dog looking like their owner. Scott then remenided me of my choice, British Bulldog, and of their stature and gait. . .

In other news of Nathan land, this semester of school is almost over! I cannot beleive how much work there has been to do. Of course I brought it on myself by thinking that my 1st sememter back in 5 years could breeze by easily with FIVE classes to maintain. 3 weeks left. . . .

Had fabulous birthday time. Went to the bar on friday night, danced it up with Shawna, who is back in town (!) and Scott, Dan and Scott’s friend Timon. (Who is not gayfor those who were confused). Scott was then a Trickster McSupriser-son on Saturday. After dinner, he decided we should go for a walk, and somehow got me all the way to the Delta inn before telling me that that is where we were going to be spending the night!!
Very nice hotel room, over looking the Harbour. Top floor corner, so there wasn’t as many people to hear us fornicating on the balcony. So full from Paglliacci’s that spent most of night in bed watching tv. Did do some swimming though. And of course the only other person in the pool was an extrem;y large man floating on some kid toy, muttering to himself, and making weird coughing noises. How romamtic. Room and view was amazing though. And so is Scott.

Alright. . . so to give an update on what’s going on with school, I am registered, and plan to attend.
Now, with student loans it was quite the kerfuffell. Turns out that I was not suppossed to receive the loan and grants 5 years ago when I took the Horticulture program. The federal loan part I have already paid back last year, but they are saying that I was over awarded the grants they gave me too. So I have to pay back that $3200 bucks before I get everything for this new school session. Which really blows cause I am actually looking forward to going to school now.

Originally I had to do an appeal to have get the loan for Horticulture. . . I wasn’t living at home, but they still said my parents had to pay for it. We got the loan after the appeal, but turns out that the info was wrong. What my parents income was, is what was also thought to be their income tax, when numbers were crunched in the gov’t computer. So therefore they wouldn’t have the money to pay for my school and I got the loan. NOW with the new one they have figured this all out so are requesting it back. Such annoying buracracy. Still havn’t received a full answer on if the numbers were right if Iwould have origianlly won the appeal. But as it stands, I still owe that money.
Probably going to move so rent is a bit cheaper. . .
Mom, god bless her asked if I wanted to move back home, but I just don’t know if I can do that as an option. They live so far out in colwood, and Dad would be very surprised one one night to here me banging Scott. God damn it, why do I have cats!! Moving would be so much easier if I didn’t have them.

I am still waiting to hear from Student Loans, if I am approved to go to school in January. I would like to hear soon, because I have registered for classes already. I am confronting Gordon Campbell about why I am not eligible for student loans to become a High School Counsellor. ( I will update the real story in my next blog)
Anyways, we are face to face on The New VI, on TV, and I start arguing that he is destroying the province, because if I went to school I would be making more money, therefore spending more and would be helping taxes. But I am stuck in a job I just don’t like and am not in anyway able to contribute much economically. I say that the province can’t afford to consider everyone a deadbeat that wouldn’t payback the loans, and to loosen the rules a bit. THis would create a lot more eligible people for better jobs. He disagrees, and storms off. I then chase him out of the TV building, with cameras following, but his security stop me from getting to him before he speeds off in his car. As he gots into his car, I yell at him that he is acting like George Bush!

This story gets to America, and I am invited on the Daily Show, with Jon Stewart. He is very short in person. They want my take on things and how using George Bush as an insult has come about.

I can’t remember exactly, but it somehow switches to religion, and how people view George in the States. Mainly those who you would consider the fanatics or radicals. Those against everything that the bible itself doesn’t right out say is fine. It has to do with how George W gets away with sooo many things because people are really to scared to speak up. Or more frightening are those who are too apathetic or lazy.
When you buy something at Walmart, you are probably aware that it is a horrible corporation. But you just don’t want to pay more for something. You are too lazy to discover a new place to buy things, because Walmart has made everything so convenient for you. Or you are stuck in a retail job and can’t pay more. The majority of people that have still supported GEorge are those that claim to be those “Moral” Americans. It is so much easier to turn a blind eye, and say that George is doing a good job, or that he will fix everything, and make it right. THat what ever he is spending to make the world a better place is justified. I am not in any way saying religion is wrong, but for some reason I compare it to those that are so single minded in the vision of god, that every other option must be just not right. I get lots of applause and Jon invites me to return.
Somehow this is compared to how Gordon Campbell won’t look more closly at Student Loan funding. He is too blind to the bigger picture.

Or something like that. I day dreamed this all in the shower, like 2 hours ago, so details are sketchy at this point. I assure you it made sense in my mind at the time.

what flavor pocky are you?
[c] sugardew

Besides that, not too much is new with me.

I have been avoiding the computer because I was afraid to check my email. Well, I kept forgetting to check my email so I would have literally HUNDREDS of junk emails to go through. Over 1400 one time to delete. Well. . . months later I have figured out some “rules” with outlook and so I feel free to be on the computer again. To do other things besides download music and porn.

I have been nesting again. When the Bowring stores closed down, I was one of the many vultures that swooped down to grab a bargain or seven. It was funny to hear all the old women talk to the staff about how devistated they were that the store was closing. ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE ACTAULLY BOUGHT ANYTHING FROM THERE!!
Whatever! Shut up and admit it! Seriously, who buys things from Bowring at regular price. Unless you need a new crystal candy dish to give someone for a wedding, or a whicker chair, or maybe a carved metal sconce to replace your broken one, there is nothing really that usefull in that store. It is full of things to decorate your home but they are soo exspensive and mainly tacky. Its like you just came back from safari, and robbed a tribe.

I have to say that I am excited to finally put the motions together for going back to school. Dropped off application last friday. All I need is their final yes, and some student loans, and I will be set. More importantly, I will be free of the Sunglass Hut! I hope to eventually become a High School Counsellor. Almost everyone I have talked to has said that I would be great at it, so I feel pretty confident. So say something nice god Damn it!

OH! I have a new bed!!! Those of you who remember TWO YEARS AGO at the halloween party, we jumped on my bed and cracked the box spring, bent the mattress, AND bent the metal frame. The frame, by the way, was bent in a “V” in such a way that as we continued to jump on the bed, it dug two holes in the drywall as the ends hit it. Frame and box spring had to be tossed, and in some form or another the mattress has plagued my sleep ever since. That room is now Stephen’s room. But I was kind enough to fill the holes with toothpaste before leaving. Well, Mom, bless her soul, found a great deal on a KING SIZE set at the Brick. So she got it for me. ANd she said to also expect next to nothing this christmas. . . meh, fair deal. So I (and scott, most nights) is very pleased. EXCEPT that the frame only came with 2 wheels that have the ability to lock. Now. . . I actually didn’t even think of the locking wheels till after I had all the frame and bed set up. So the 2 wheels that lock are both on the same side of the bed. This does nothing to stop the bed from rolling around, and incidentally just makes it rotatecounter clock wise in the room when Scott’s head is pushed into the pillow. . .

My Halloween costume was a big hit. Courtenay Love, cracked out phase! As soon as a track down people who took pictures I will see about posting them!

I bought a boat!!
Well, just rubber dingy style. It was on half price at London Drugs so I went for it. It has been fun going out to Matheson Lake with it and just trying to row around. Of course I and no one that I know is proficient in rowing so we just end up spinning in circles. THe only way we have managed it so far is if we face each other and one person has to paddle backwards. . .
Took Scott out there the other evening. I think that we had plans of being bad and slipping in to the forest for a quick hump. Was very unromantic and funny as we couldn’t find anywhere that didn’t have a trail by it or made us too scared of people that might pass by. Sufficient to say it was a fast one. AND I was so freaked out that we would be locked in the park as it was close to after dark that we paddled are asses off to make it to shore in time. Nothing kills the mood like the fear being locked in a metchosin park after dark.

Ever wonder who thinks about you while they are masturbating? I mean usually its going to be porn, but sometimes there’s gotta be something about that guy on the high school rugby team, or random guy you saw at the locker room at Oak Bay Rec. Who is he, and does he know what you are thinking about him? Who might be thinking of you!?

Oh yah, now that I have taken my parents old truck (til they ask for it back) I have been able to do alot of house cleaning! I got some new furniture from the same people that I got the bike from and am re arranging the house. I’ve thrown out the old kitchen table and that foam couch and replaced both! Living room is now kinda a living room too! No TV in the kitchen, but now it is in the living room with things arrranged better! Helps to also have furniture that Ashley left behind for adventures in England.

I’m sure that most eveyone has heard this story too, but it needs to be saved in of history.
Was my grandma’s funeral last month. . . Have to say that that was a pretty damn sad day. Funerals are the only time that I get to see all of my dad’s side of the family in one place. That’s not the greatest setting but I was happy to see people that I hadn’t seen in years. Not so great was it being an open casket funeral. grandma looked just soo . . . .like a dead body. Tres creepy. AND I had to be a pall bearer. That was news I was not happy to learn. Turns out that it was somehow known to be the first generation grandsons that were to be pall bearers. So 6 of us saddled up and carried grandma out of the church and then later out of the hearse/hurse/herse/deathmobile however the fuck you spell it. AND THEN at the grave it was nice because her plot was the ONLY one that had shade on it from a lone tree in the parking lot. I thought that was a nice yet eery touch. ALSO was the fact that Aunt Ida and Aunt Pauline wore the same shirt! That was creepy/funny/heartwarming. More so because Ida lives in Victoria, and Pauline is from Nelson. One of those total fluke things.
THEN on the ferry back from Vancouver my dad decides to pick the table in the cafiteria beside the BLack Eyed Peas, who had a concert in Victoria the next day. That was bizarre. Me and my sister, Cynthia, were so nervous. So you can imagine our dismay when my dad pulls his burger away from his mouth, leaving a wide swath of mayonaise behind, only to ask us quite loudly who the people beside us were, since they were having to sign autographs. In horror and disgust Cynthia throws some napkins at him, and I say that they are the Black Eyed Peas. My mom decides to pipe in and and says ” Oh! They do that Phunking My Heart Song, don’t they?” That’s when the ugly one with the long hair looks over and gives a slight chuckle.

And my dad pulls the burger back again, to reveal relish clinging to his lip. Obviously not wanting to be eaten. . . but he is a sweet guy. I used to really not like him, but I think that I have grown up, and there is no more teenage angst either. I feel more sorry for him than anything.

A very full and emotional day.

Oh, and I am quitting Sunglass Hut in January to go back to school to be a High School Counsellor.
Someones gotta deal with those fuckin brats. . .